Spiritual Vessel

I am a very spiritual person. I believe the core to living a beautiful life is hidden within your spirit. When we live in balance with this spirit, we emit a very powerful energy. That energy almost walks ahead of you, announcing your “vibe" if you will. It emits out of your pores and it kind of shines through your eyes. I see that as a very important aspect to my life, and my happiness. I want to emit a “good vibe” by living in balance with my spirit. I like sharing my vibe with people. It almost always makes them smile, and it keeps me feeling like I am contributing to another’s life in a positive way. This does not mean I do not have bad days, or that I don’t get super annoyed with people from time to time, but I always try to find a way to bring it back to good. It feels better there……but not everyone is coming from a balanced spirit, this is the hardest lesson I have learned over the course of the last few years. Not everyone’s spirit is “good vibes” y’all.

Similar to when you walk with a balanced spirit, you emit these beautiful care bear vibes, those that walk out of balance with their spirit also carry a vibe. Their energy also speaks for them. I can hear it. I can feel it. I almost attract energy that is out of balance, because it craves balance, so it seeks people out that can help. Energy is a very scientific thing y’all. This is not some voodoo shit, it is science. Our bodies are all about neuron transmitters. Everything about our systems is based off of receptors and receivers…of energetic messages. It is fascinating!!!! I encourage everyone to take an Anatomy/physiology course. It is amazing and it will change your life…especially if you are struggling with any illness, mental or physical. It will help you understand so much more about the actual design of what your body can do. I am in love with the human body. Every human body. They are the most beautiful vessel ever created. A vessel so perfect and capable. But the point is that the human body is just a vessel for what operates inside the vessel. Spirit! Energy! Your Soul! Your Being……your human is the vessel; your being, is you!

"She may have a wild soul, but she is a lover of simple things and quiet places." - Ehixojie

That “being” is known through your spirit. Your spirit is known through your energy. Your energy is created through your life choices. Have you ever been around someone who just experienced a loss? You can feel their pain. You can feel their sorrow. Have you ever been around someone who just received the best news ever? You literally feel the joy. They are emitting energy based off of what they are experiencing. I used to think that our feelings came about based on our reaction to whatever we were experiencing…. but recently I have been wondering if in fact, how you react is what caused the feelings. For example, you get fired, you feel what? Lots of acceptable emotions can be had…. sad, angry, frustrated, relieved….so many different options, do you feel sad because you choose sad, or do you feel sad because you reacted to the news with sadness? Where is the choice? Because I believe there is ALWAYS a choice. You choose, and the outcome is based on the choice. If the choice is sadness, you will be sad…. but what if you choose happy. The reaction would be a celebration. What if you always tried to choose happy? What if you always tried to redirect to a positve…would, in fact, your life respond in the process? The answer is yes….because I have seen it work. Instead of you reacting to the sadness, you choose to feel something different and instead your feelings are based on that……

This is how I have redefined my life, and reinvented my energy. I respond to life in a positive way (even through the tears of wondering why it is so hard.) I feel good because I choose a good response, not because I feel good about the circumstances. The feelings come after my response, and so if I respond accordingly then the feeling are in alignment with my “good vibes only” kind of life. It seems simple, but it takes doing it a million times, and then six more before you get good at it. It needs to become a habit of the mind. To make this a habit, you have to find balance in your spirit, because spirit is what defines your energy, and feelings ARE energy. That is why you can feel the joy and sadness of others. The feelings are emitting the energy. Some people have really SHIT energy emitting from their vessels. Like, really bad, some don’t even realize this is what they emit, and some don’t care what they emit, either way I have learned the responsibility of what others emit is not mine to carry. I don’t care if you have shit energy…..I love you. It is ok if that is what you choose, I love you still…..BUT it IS my responsibility to protect my own energy, so I no longer pour into colanders.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

A colander is a vessel that is filled with holes. It is a handy gadget to have in the kitchen but it is a ridiculous vessel to try to fill. It has lots of holes, and nothing of a fluid nature (such as water) will stay within its grasp. Some people are like this, filled with holes from their lives. Empty spots where absent parents should have been. Places where there is a scar that won’t heal. Abuse and neglect. Holes put there by others and some dug by our own lack of self-worth and fear. This doesn’t make us bad, these holes. They make us human, the vessel has holes, not you. People that have holes and that cannot fill them, themselves, still deserve love. That is what love is for, to be given….but you cannot pour from an empty vessel, and if all you do is pour, you will eventually be depleted. Love gives energy. Love should pour and be poured into. Energy should be reciprocal….and energy you give to another should be given back, if it is not, it will soon drain you and move on to the next source. Some people cannot create their own energy so they must pull from others. Their vessel has too many holes and they retain nothing they take. This is where your responsibility comes in. Not to withhold your love from them, but to protect your energy from them. They are colanders. Pour over them, not into them. Save your deep pour for someone that can pour back.

I have felt VERY drained energetically these last couple of months. I just could not recharge, no matter how much I was doing all the right things to recharge, it was not working. I could not figure it out, and then the other day I got a message from some creepy ass man, and it really rattled me. I didn’t respond, and I blocked him BUT it dawned on me what might be the problem. I adjusted and I will tell you what, within the next couple of days I stared feeling better. Do you know what I did? I locked my FB down! I could almost feel a collective weight off my shoulders. I have kept my FB pretty public for the last few years. I did it for a few reasons, the biggest one, I feel like I have stuff to share and I want people to be able to find that if they need it. I feel like when you have had the opportunity to walk out of the fire, you should go back in and grab all the others that you can. We are a collective being after all. I also kept it public because I knew there were people that only came to check my page so they can get all pissed off. I can feel their dumb asses, over here looking and then complaining about everything they see. What healthy individual does that?!?!? Those soured up faces. All pissy, and angry. Haha I think it is funny and if they are coming, I am always sure that they get to see me killin it! I wanted to be sure if they came for a show they got one. But it has started to wear on me. I am done with that stupid shit. I decided to not even give them a ticket to the show, and carry on. I am done. When people do that, when they put your name in their dirty mouths, it creates energy. I want to limit who has that kind of access to me, that way I control the vibe in my own life. Those kind of people don't deserve access to my energy.

I am a very spiritual person, I believe a beautiful life comes from a balanced spirit. You cannot carry a balanced spirit if the energy around you is too negative. Energy is powerful, when it is in balance, AND when it is NOT. My FB being public was drawing a lot of negative energy around me. I use social media for what it was meant for….being social. I love talking to people about life, and weird random shit. It is fun, but I think it got out of balance. I started to feel drained all the time, as if someone was physically pulling me down, and it was such a relief to figure it out and correct it. I will still keep my page public to a degree….because I DO believe my story is important (as I believe everyone’s is). I do believe that my “good vibe” is just what the world needs more of. I also like to let them see me shine, just a little. I will not, however, pour into the colander of social media. Talk about unbalanced energy, there are some really damaged people out there, and if you allow them, they will poke all kinds of holes in your vessel, and leave you to sink. Protect your energy. Protect your spirit. Watch who you let into your space…..some already depleted souls are out there trying to syphon your good vibes right out of your beautiful life!