Do you believe in people being divinely placed into your life? Like God himself assigned them a role in your story? I do! I believe it because I have watched it at play my entire life. I can name them, I have named them, and I have expressed my gratitude to them, trust me! I never miss an opportunity to tell someone how they have impacted my life. If I believe this (and I just told you I do) then I must also believe that I can be divinely placed into the lives of others, and if that is true, then I better show up for them as my best self. In order to honor our own place in this life, we must honor the place others fit into ours. Love can be fickle, but it can also change the course of someone’s life. There are many people out there in this great big world that do not know love, true healthy love. I want to be that for people. Not love with an agenda, love with boundaries, love with no expectations. Like a feral cat. Giving love freely so as not to own another but to coexist with them.
I love cats. I have never been a cat person. I have never had a cat as a pet, and I never really got why others loved them so much. Dogs are like the most loyal creatures. They just love you so much, how could a cat compete with that. When Austin asked to volunteer at the cat rescue, I was not thrilled. We all know who really does most of the work…right? Me. I do. I make them help but if I waited for them to do it all, it would not be done well and it would take five hours just to keep them on task enough to get it done! Momma got shit to do! So I end up doing most of it, but it has become one of my favorite days. They have a special something about them. I have always wanted to volunteer somewhere, I think it is our civic duty to volunteer. So, I am so happy that it is such a cool place to be and that I can now declare I am for sure a crazy cat lady!
They love you! But not like a dog, like a cat. They appreciate your attention, and they love belly rubs but when they are done…they are DONE! I can relate. I love my job, I really cannot believe I get paid to rub people and make them feel better. I have secretly been doing this my whole life. It is just now I am less likely to be arrested! HAHA I have been a healer since I can remember and now I can use this gift in the lives of others. But when I am off the clock, I cannot people anymore. I am done with the belly rubs and will now start scratching those that get too close. As someone that is sensitive to the energy around her, I always feel like being around people can be draining. People like to pull from you. Some even NEED to pull from you, and I get to a point where I have nothing left to give. So I need solitude. Cats are similar, they love to love but when they are done, respect that and let them be done.
Another reason I love the cat rescue is cats are healers as well. Their purr has actually been studied and the vibration of a cats purr can send healing vibes to the bodies system, triggering the release of powerful endorphins for healing. The vibration of a cats purr is healing for our systems so I imagine cats get drained as well. I often think this is probably why cats were seen as royalty back in the day. People were more aware and open to the different ways to naturally heal our bodies. Cats show up, they sit by you and they let you pull from them….but they don’t want you to do that all the time, so they prefer when they are done, you respect that and let them be. I always tell the cats how I understand. I never push myself on the cats, I just let them feel my own human “purring vibration” and hope they understand I will not pull from them but instead I will feed into them. Volunteering at the recue has actually taught me a lot about myself, and how I deal with people. I need to be alone sometimes, and I need to be sure whoever I allow to be near me respects that and understands I cannot give you too much of my energy right now. I think this is one of the reasons I have chosen not to date.
I was sitting on the beach last week and a guy approached me. Now, I have shared my beach stories before but normally it is either some drunk guy, or a kid so young I could be his mother…not this guy, he was super cute and had that bit of gray in his beard!! OH MY! I mean, super cute. He asked if I was single and before I even knew what I was saying I said “Yes, but I am not interested.” He looked disappointed but he said “I would have been an idiot not to ask.” I said thank you and he left….I almost called after him because guys…..super cute. I didn’t though and I have been trying to figure out why I let him walk off. I am an available women. I have a lot to offer. I am funny and fun to be around. I am successful. Attractive. I can sing (I just liked adding that to see if you are paying attention still) Why would I say I am not interested? I was. I am. I would like to find someone to spend time with, to do things with, but….I am also like the cat, I just kind of want belly rubs, and then when I am done, I start scratching and hissing because I now want to be left alone…like right this second, leave me alone. HAHA
I love my job. I love my home. I love spending time with my kids and I have a handful of friends that I try to make it a priority to spend time with….but other than that, I am alone….and I love it. Solitude has been the greatest gift I have received in this divorce process. Being able to learn to love being alone. That break from having to pour into another being (human or animal.) When it is just me, I am free from having to “show up” at all. I am just able to be in that moment, with myself. With God. With nature. It has been a very needed and serendipitous blessing. One I didn’t even think I deserved. I thought I had to be sad without my kids. I thought in order to be a “good mom” I had to feel guilty for not “showing up” and I had to sit in sadness when they were with Leo….but I learned I don’t. I get to spend time with me. I write. I go to the beach. I do yoga and I meditate. I read. I really enjoy that time alone, and although I miss being kissed and touched, I do not think I want to give any of that time up and that is not fair to anyone else.
A think the cat rescue was divinely placed in my path as a place to learn who I am. These cats have healed me, and I know there are a few I have helped feel healed. We have a reciprocal relationship. If one needs to pull from me, I let them and if I am needing them, they seem to instinctually know, and they sit on my lap and just purr. I think about the little church house in the same way. What a little piece of heaven. How could this NOT be God sent? How could God not have played a role in this little house? Tucked in the woods, a sunrise in the morning, football in the yard with the boys. Learning to ride bikes, forts in the Livingroom, and night time stargazing. This is a divine place. My favorite place is also a place I know changed my life! Literally, it is my favorite place to be. I never walk into that place without giving thanks for a place to work where there is joy. People loving others in a reciprocal way is magic. That is God magic! When a group of people meet with a purpose, that purpose is magnified and it can be felt. Energy is real, and the energy in the spa is magic that I am extremely blessed to feel.
I believe in the divine placement of people and places. I believe in the life changing moments, I just wish more people were aware enough to find their own moments, or their own people to be inspired by. I promise there are people that have been placed in your life to guild you. To keep you laughing. To keep you humble. They come into your life with messages of strength and wisdom. They show up with groceries and dirty jokes. I have many of these people and places but over the last few years I have become more aware of them, and I have become more aware about how I can be one of those people for others, and most importantly for myself. I can divinely show up for me, in the ways I always needed someone else to show up in. That is humbling and powerful. That is a place I have never found myself before and I do believe that is a divine place to be! Xoxo
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